I have a spiritual website of my own Temple Illuminatus
, but that doesn't prevent me from learning from, participating in, and networking with other alternative path spiritual sites. So I'm very happy to be here and share, though I may be more of a reader than a writer, my health limits my ability to actively participate.
I am one who lives true to my own authentic self out of a place of compassionate love and respect for all.
I live an alternative lifestyle in many ways, not just in terms of my spirituality. My spirituality is but one part, albeit the guiding part, of me living authentically to self and others. I follow no particular belief system and have no affiliation to any path or group or way of being.
I look at the world of the spiritual, the numinous, through as many different perceptual lenses as possible. Cognisant that each is but a metaphorical interpretation of something much greater that transcends human definition and classification.
For me I believe the nature of infinite reality is something that cannot be fully known through our finite minds, whether scientific or spiritual, all are simply theories. For me reality and spirituality is understood through the totality of simply being, we are one with all. However truths and wisdoms can be found in the metaphorical representations of all theories and belief systems.
So in a sense, I'm pantheistic and pandenominational. I believe in the divinity of all things, and that all belief systems are valid representations. We each perceive unique personal truths.
Belief systems, metaphorical universes, personal reality bubbles reflecting greater truths.In terms of living authentically. I also love true to my spiritual nature. This for me means I'm pansexual (bisexual only includes two genders, pan is the prefix for 'all'). My romantic loves are not based on gender identity, the external house of flesh, but on the quality of the spirit. The packaging doesn't matter to me. All are beautiful.
I also live a polyamorous non-monogamous lifestyle. Just as I don't limit my love based on gender, I also don't limit it to a number of romantic partners. Each love is different and unique and love shared is love multiplied.
I live in a family of four adults, two women, two men, without children and with a lot of pets and a big garden. I also practice tantra, sacred sexuality, BDSM and power exchange. For me sex is a sacred bonding and a deep expression of love, I see nothing wrong with casual sex but it's not personally for me, I reserve sex for my long term loving relationships.
Red for love. Sacred heart of Mary candle. Voudon symbol for Erzuli goddess of love.
I have been on disability since 2000. I am diagnosed with CFS/CFIDS/ME/FM all chronic pain and fatigue disorders of the body and autoimmune system with no known cause. My body has been deteriorating over the last few years, I look completely healthy however I have no stamina, and am currently bed bound and using a wheel chair for most of my mobility. I can get up and walk, but very little.
I do believe my physical 'illness' and change is tied into spiritual transformation of self. I feel this is meant to happen. My main challenges are pain and weakness. Which means sometimes I am unable to type andbe online. I manage symptoms and health as best I can, and am at peace and feel happy with what I am learning in the process.
Thankfully while I was able, I enjoyed studying and working, I have a BFA in studio arts, a BA in psychology and an MA in counselling psychology. When I originally went on disability I was diagnosed with major depression as I was suicidal. I was working at that time as a home support supervisor, managing a staff of 60-70 workers providing support for a clientèle of 300-350 elderly, disabled, and medically fragile individuals in the community. This was not only very rewarding, but well paid union work and left me thankfully with a good disability pension. This along with my loving family taking very good care of me, means I am blessed in that all my needs are met.
I have no fear over any state my body wishes to go through including physical death, for change is inevitable in the physical, and death is just what we call that trans-formative moment.
What is, is what is meant to be. I live in love. I live in the now. I'm more self aware, self fulfilled, and happier than I have ever known.
Listening, the light within lifts veils of darkness from my eyes. Shells crack birth new being.
I'm a passionate person who is predominantly interested in other people. Everything to do with people and loving people. I am interested in love, human psychology, culture, spirituality, philosophy, the arts, and anything that relates to exploring the nature of self and others.
I am a Lover and I am Love, through and through. I have always identified with love, and as a child one of my 'guides'/'imaginary friends' was Venus the goddess of beauty and love. It took a few years for me to understand what she meant when she would say that she was me, and I her. The reality is... we are all avatars of Love, All Gods and Goddesses.
My motto has always been:
Live in Love
The photos below are self portraits from 2008 onward. Mostly head shots, as I'm predominantly bed bound and most are shot on my built in laptop camera. For me photography is a strong creative expression of my thoughts and ideas, so these are not so much just representations of my self, but of different concepts I've explored.